


Lovers at War

by everlovingdeer



Series: Harry Potter Short Stories [163]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childbirth, Domestic, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy, Reconciliation, Secrets, Traitor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22652869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everlovingdeer/pseuds/everlovingdeer
Summary: “So, what will you do?” I asked aloud, the sound of my voice bringing him to a halt. My husband turned then, watching me as if he could no longer recognise me. Swallowing down my hurt and wanting to tell him the truth in one breath, I breathed out slowly. “What will Theseus Scamander, war hero and pride of the Auror department do when the traitor he’s been searching so hard for is his wife?”
Relationships: Theseus Scamander/Original Female Character(s), Theseus Scamander/Reader
Series: Harry Potter Short Stories [163]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1461751
Kudos: 123





	1. Lovers at War

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted to other sites on 30/11/19

There was a simple beauty to life now, one I’d never imagined I would appreciate. My days were filled with short moments of idyllic peace that I’d doubted could exist. Upon leaving work to begin my family, I couldn’t shake the worries that it wouldn’t be all it cracked up to be, that I would wreck it somehow. Whilst I occasionally still had those thoughts, they were no longer on the forefront of my mind. Not all the time, anyway.

For now, all I wanted to focus on was having dinner ready in time for when Theseus got home. The Ministry hounded my husband, cracking the whip to ensure the team that had been specially constructed to take down Grindelwald managed to do just that. He tried his best to hide it, to leave all worries from work at the threshold of our home. But I knew better than anyone that such a thing wasn’t possible. Not with such an important case.

Leaving the stew to simmer a little longer, I wiped my hand clean on a tea towel as our front door opened. With a keen ear, I listened out for the door closing and locking followed shortly by Theseus’s footsteps. I knew, without looking back that he was searching me out. Eventually, his steps drew closer until I could pinpoint them to the doorway. For a moment, he lingered, likely just watching me until he breathed out slowly like he was exhaling his stress and he started to walk once more. With my back to Theseus, I continued to wash the dishes in the sink, humming in contentment when his arms wrapped around my waist. Burrowing his nose into the crook of my neck, he breathed in slowly before breathing out a deep content sigh that had me turning liquid against the strength of his chest.

“You are the most perfect thing to come home to,” Theseus confessed with a heavy grumble, carrying the weight of his work with him eventhough he wanted to forget it for a short while.

Silently, I dried my wet hands again and reached one up to run through his hair. He sighed content and moved his head as though he wanted to burrow further into me. “Something happened at work then?”

“The head of the Auror department is really working on my case.” Extracting his arms from around my waist, Theseus shook his head but insisted, “We can talk about that later. Right now, I want to just focus on you.”

“Well, you can start by freshening up.” Turning to face Theseus, I pushed at his chest when he refused to budge. “Hurry up and then come and eat.”

He stole one more kiss, lingering against my laughing lips but eventually, he did as told. Once he had left the kitchen, I began to set the dining table and took the stew off the stove. Spooning it out into bowls and pouring Theseus a glass of wine, I reached the table as he returned downstairs, hair still damp from the shower. With another kiss to my expectant lips, Theseus thanked me for dinner and even pulled my chair out from beneath the table for me. In silence, I sat and listened to Theseus as he discussed things he really shouldn’t have about their latest plans to catch Grindelwald. Occasionally, I asked him a few questions, trying to understand how the department was being so easily pushed to their limits by this latest turn of events. Usually, they were much better organised but it seemed that continually failing to catch Grindelwald was getting the best of them.

“It’s as if the entire department has gone to the dogs since you left,” Theseus confessed, reaching across the table to take my hand. He pressed a kiss to the back of it, “Everyone in the department misses you. I miss being able to see you at work, as well.”

“We both agreed I would leave work after marriage,” I reminded him with a smile, even if I did miss working. It had been my idea originally, but eventually, he had come along. Leaning back in my chair, I rubbed a soothing hand over my protruding stomach and sent him a pointed look, “You did this to me Mr Scamander, and I would much rather be safe at home than exposing our child to dark magic.”

“I would rather that as well.” Smiling incredulously at how little sense he was making; Theseus shook his head. “I know, I know. I just hate how often I have to bring work home with me.”

“But I understand,” I assured him, reaching for his now-empty bowl. “That’s why you can head upstairs to tend to whatever leftover work you have.”

Theseus hesitated, eyes lingering on mine as if he couldn’t believe me. But still, I nodded insistently and waited until he rose from the table. My eyes trailed after him, lingering on the open doorway and waiting to see if he would return. But, from the footsteps climbing the stairs, I knew he wouldn’t be back.

I didn’t have long.

Waving my wand at the dishes, I sent them back to the kitchen and left them to be cleaned magically. Walking quickly to the back of the house, I entered my study and hurriedly wrote a letter, recounting as much of what Theseus had told me as I could possibly remember. I didn’t dare to sign the full name of the recipient or even to sign my name on the end. My handwriting would be enough to tell him who I was. As a precaution, I charmed the letter so that whoever read it, would have to decode it first. I really couldn’t be too safe, not when it came to this.

Drawing out an envelope, I folded the letter up and tucked it safely inside. Melting some wax onto the back as a seal, I didn’t use our family seal to close it but rather used a nondescript book cover to smooth it down. Turning it once more to the front, I addressed it to _G,_ before standing. Approaching the owl cage in the corner of the room, I held the letter out to the owl who took it in his mouth. I cracked the window open, letting him fly away and closed the window after it.

Walking out of the study, I headed back to the kitchen and found the dishes all washed and dried. Slowly, I set about returning them to their rightful place in time for Theseus to walk downstairs. He stood in the doorway, watching as I worked with an appreciative smile and silently, he held his hand out to me. When I took it, he tucked me under his arm and took me upstairs for the night. I folded myself safely into his side, letting my hand cling to the back of his shirt. Peering up into Theseus’s face, I searched it with gentle eyes; Helga he could never find out. 

* * *

Hufflepuffs made for the best liars. We flew so easily under the radar that no one wondered whether or not we were lying and upon leaving school, I had honed the talent and turned it into a profession in the Auror’s department. And I was still lying now. I spent my every day lying to my husband, the man who knew me better than anyone else and he still, had no idea that I was lying to him. He couldn’t tell the difference. I was a perfect liar. And he would never find out.

“My love?” Theseus called out, having returned home from work.

“In here,” I called out, finally turning away from the window I’d been staring out of.

Theseus followed the sound of my voice, walking upstairs and instantly approaching me. I turned to the door, greeting Theseus with a smile that I knew showed no sign of anything being wrong. Silently, I opened my arms towards him and he smiled, coming toward me.

“What did you do all day?” he asked, peppering kisses along the bridge of my nose. With a breathless laugh, I turned my face towards his, taking him in a kiss and straying away from the question. I surely couldn’t answer it.

_I’d patiently bade my time, waiting until Theseus left home for work before going to my scheduled meetup. It was an innocuous coffee shop, settled in the middle of a busy street with enough passers-by that the pregnant woman meeting a pointedly nondescript young man would seem like nothing out of the ordinary. Sitting in the coffee shop, I waited still, for Grindelwald to arrive and I briefly wondered just when he would arrive. And what he would look like when he arrived. Each and every time he looked different – with no feature that stood out. He was always average looking, so average that if I gave a description of him to anyone – he could be almost anyone in Wizarding Britain. Today was no different; brown hair, brown eyes and a decidedly plain face._

_When he sat across from me, he didn’t even order a drink. Instead, he inclined his head in greeting before asking, “How is the little one?”_

_I curled a hand protectively over my stomach, “Doing well.”_

_“Good, good.” He nodded before admitting, “I worried that the stress of working for me would affect the little one.”_

_“I’m doing this **for** the little one,” I reminded him with a smile. He returned it with one of his own, “I’m doing this to make sure that the world is a better place for my little one.”_

_“Is that not the reason we are all doing this?” Arching an eyebrow, he crossed his arms and propped them on the table. “Now that we have seen to all our pleasantries, shall we perhaps get to business? Your husband, has he told you anything else?”_

_“He tells me a lot, not all of it will be useful,” I warned but he held my eyes still. It was strange, at first, it had been so difficult to share anything Theseus had told me in confidence. But now, it was disconcertingly easy. Helga, I hated that it was so easy, “They’re planning a raid, one that your followers will get caught in if you don’t move your home base.”_

Parting from me, Theseus pressed his forehead to mine and asked, “Well?”

His expectant eyes drew me from my thoughts of earlier today. I couldn’t tell him the truth, that I was a traitor to the country, that I was selling my husband out, and I wanted to say nothing. I wanted to be able to skip this altogether.

“Nothing much,” I said slowly. And then, smiling up at him, I took his hands in mine and confessed, “The baby kicked today.”

“Really?” His smile grew softer, eyes positively singing out his love as his hands tentatively settled on my stomach. For a moment, I watched his face, wanting to catalogue his reaction. He waited so expectantly that I almost thought he was holding his breath and then when there was a small kick against me, he breathed out a wonderstruck smile. Lifting his eyes to mine, Theseus held them for a long moment with such obvious adoration, that I was the first to look away. “Merlin, can you believe this? It’s almost enough to forget – ”

“To forget,” I prompted, looking sharply towards him when he trailed off.

“I don’t want to talk about it, to ruin this moment,” he confessed so quietly I almost didn’t hear it.

Reaching a hand up, I cradled his face. With closed eyes, Theseus nuzzled into my palm with his hands still feeling our child moving under my skin. “Thee? Come on, tell me.”

“There’s a mole in the department,” he confessed in a breath. I listened attentively, showing no outward reaction as he continued, “We’ve found out that there’s a mole in the department that has been giving information to Grindelwald. Right now, we’re focusing on trying to find out who it is.”

I continued to watch him, searching his face and watching as he did his very best to hide his conflict. He was right, it had tainted the moment. I had no idea _how_ he’d found out, but he had and who knew what else he would soon find out. I needed to think and –

“There is nothing to worry about,” Theseus assured me, lifting his hands from my stomach to cradle my face. Raising my head to meet his eyes, Theseus kissed my forehead and then left a lingering kiss on my lips. “Really, don’t worry about anything. You’re safe. Nothing is going to happen to our family.”

He held me then, cradling me so gently in his arms that I clung tightly to him. Breathing out softly against his shoulder, I closed my eyes and wanted nothing more than to lose myself in his arms. Everything was unravelling before my eyes. 

* * *

There were few moments in the day where, despite Theseus being home, I could write to Grindelwald. Especially on the days that he had off from work, I struggled to find a spare moment to write down what he’d told me so I could relay the information on. But the longer Grindelwald slipped between the Ministry’s fingertips, the less time Theseus could take off and the easier it was for me to write when Theseus headed out the next day. But there were still those days where the department sent him home, insisting he take time to himself and spend some time with this wife if only to keep Theseus sane enough for him to do good work when he returned. I loved having him home, I adored having him lavish attention on me but it made it so very difficult to write a letter I needed to. On those days, I usually crept out of bed in the middle of the night.

During nights like tonight, where I had to leave our bed in the middle of the night, I worried about Theseus waking. He was a light sleeper – as all Aurors tended to become – and always without fail stirred when I left the bed. It took only a murmured reason, that our child was kicking horrendously and keeping me awake and that I would return shortly, to have him fallen back into sleep. Tonight had been no different. I’d hovered on the threshold of our bedroom, peeking into the darkroom to make sure that Theseus fell asleep once more. Reassured, I walked downstairs and towards my study.

Lighting the way with my wand and approaching my desk, I perched a little awkwardly on the chair, struggling to get comfortable with my growing stomach. Setting my wand on the desk, I used the light to guide me as I summoned some parchment and a quill. I skipped the pleasantries and started listing as much as I could remember, struggling to remember all the details as I always did when I couldn’t instantly write it down. I reached halfway down the parchment, chewing contemplatively on the end of my quill when light flooded the room.

Even as I squinted against the sudden light, I picked up my wand and held it defensively in front of me. Despite being off the force for years, my Auror instincts were always there. Only, my wand faltered as I found myself standing face to face with my husband as he stood in the doorway of my study. I could tell from his eyes alone – he knew. He knew and he hated that he knew.

Slowly, lowering my wand to my side, I waited. Theseus, sensing the retreat, strode into the room with a clenched jaw and ripped the parchment off my desk. His eyes looked over it once and then twice, and I swore, the second time, I saw the despair set into his shoulders. From over the parchment, he watched me in silence, the parchment crinkling under the strength of his grip. Still, I held my silence, even as for the first time I watched his control slip and it _wasn’t_ because he was on a mission. He breathed out shakily when I still said nothing – right now, silence was my greatest defence.

“You won’t –” He cut himself off harshly, breathing out and looking once more to the parchment in his hand. Holding my eyes, Theseus approached the fireplace, throwing the parchment into it and lighting it in one breath. I looked away then, watched as it burnt to a crisp. Finally turning back to me, Theseus started again, “You won’t even deny it? You won’t try and talk your way out of this?”

Standing under his eyes, I knew then, that silence wouldn’t do me any good. Not with Theseus. He would hold my eyes, continue looking at me until I broke and spoke first. Except, I wouldn’t cave first, my training wouldn’t allow it of me. But I had to progress. I couldn’t spend the night standing here, not in my condition, whilst waiting for Theseus to crack – he never would.

“What good would it do?” I finally asked softly, watching as Theseus shook his head.

He crossed the space between us then, coming around the desk and standing before me in all his impressive height. Stepping forward again, coming into my personal space, Theseus took my hand and held it steady in his. Lowering his head until he was starring right into my eyes, he pleaded gently, “Deny it. Deny it right to my face and tell me that I’m being mad. You’ve already proven yourself to be a good liar – prove it to me again and make me believe you.”

“No.”

He straightened up abruptly, dropping my hand and retreating from me. I watched Theseus’s back, curling my now cold hand into a fist and shielding it behind my other hand. Resting both on top of my bump, I continued to watch as Theseus paced back and forth.

“So, what will you do?” I asked aloud, the sound of my voice bringing him to a halt. My husband turned then, watching me as if he could no longer recognise me. Swallowing down my hurt and wanting to tell him the truth in one breath, I breathed out slowly. “What will Theseus Scamander, war hero and pride of the Auror department do when the traitor he’s been searching so hard for is his wife?”

There was another moment of still silence where neither of us could do or say anything. Until he turned abruptly and left my study. I remained standing, listening out as he rifled through something in the other room and then headed for the front door. It opened and then slammed resolutely behind him. Finally letting my knees crumble, I settled into my chair and leaned back.

Rubbing a soothing hand over my stomach, I tried to soothe our kicking child in a shaking voice, “It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Except, it wasn’t. Theseus didn’t return home that night. Or even the night after that.

* * *

Theseus didn’t return home for days. I remained at home, passing our front door repeatedly throughout the day just in case I caught sight of him on his way back home. But I knew he wouldn’t come. I knew Theseus better than I knew myself, and I knew he would take the days away from me to clear his head. The scary part was that despite knowing Theseus so well, having loved him for countless years now, I still had no inkling as to what he would do. Would he tell the department and do the right thing for the country? Or would he too become a traitor and keep silent, protecting the woman he loved and the family we were building together?

No matter how often I thought on the matter, I reached no conclusion. When Theseus returned home, would he return with half of the department at his back? Or, would he simply walk in alone? If he walked in alone, would he stay? Or would he leave me? Helga, what if he left me?

No, he wouldn’t – he was too good of a man to leave me especially given my state, given the life I carried. If he was willing to forsake my love and abandon me, he would not abandon his son.

When I’d agreed to do this, agreed to something so stupid and risking my head at the same time, I’d never once thought that it would get this far. I was sure that I’d get caught, but that Theseus would never be the one to catch me. I’d never wanted to hurt him like this. In the end, we were both fighting for what we believed was right and our definitions of right might have differed and we might have answered to different men but –

The click of the front door unlocking had become so strange in the space of a few days that my ears instantly clocked onto it, picking it out from the ticking of the clock and the whistling of the kettle on the stove. Lifting the kettle from the stove, I hurried out of the kitchen and towards the front door in time for it to open. Theseus stood in the open doorway, looking as if he hadn’t slept a single moment since leaving home. I hadn’t realised until that moment just how much I’d missed actually looking at him, how the first glimpse of him felt like life had been breathed back into my aching lungs. I couldn’t seem to say the same for Theseus. His eyes flickered toward me, passing briefly over me to try as if looking for an outward sign of injury and satisfied, he brushed passed me without a single word. His silence hurt more than anything he could’ve said to me.

I breathed out shakily, eyes drifting skyward as if I could see through the floorboards to watch my husband as he set foot in our bedroom for the first time this week. Everything was still uncertain, still too uncomfortable for me to ask him what he was planning on doing. I would instead have to continue living as I was, in a constant state of uncertainty. For now, there was something more pressing that I needed to deal with. My thoughts could no longer focus on my husband who had looked at me like I was a stranger, and rather I needed to visit Grindelwald.

I had been so careful, continuing to give him vague information based on my experience as an Auror. Theseus wouldn’t give me any information– not anymore. But from my years in the force, I knew that they would be careful now, they would be much more careful with the raids that they were planning. Whilst thinking ahead might not have been a speciality skill most Aurors had, from now on, they would triple think all of their decisions. Still, I had to give Grindelwald some answers; if I didn’t want to lose my head, I had to think of answers to give him and continue to supply him with information. Even if it was false. He certainly didn’t have a second person he could recheck all my information through.

I risked a glance at the clock; it was almost time for me to head out. As I usually did, I’d planned on having a calming cup of chamomile tea through before seeking Grindelwald out. It seemed today I’d have to go without.

Heading to the back of the house and entering my study, I grabbed my bag and my keys. Walking through the house to the front door, my steps faltered when I found Theseus standing there, blocking the front door with crossed arms. Clutching the strap of my bag with tight hands, I waited uncertainly.

“Where are you going?” Theseus demanded so coldly that I tried not to flinch. It was a tone I’d only ever heard reserved for the Dark Wizards he apprehended. And yet, yet it wasn’t. Because this wasn’t what he truly meant, he was putting this on as well, wanting to remain as distant from me as possible. How distant could he possible remain from the woman he’d sworn to love for the rest of his life?

“I have to meet a friend,” I said slowly.

“A meeting with a _friend_?” he asked so pointedly that I swallowed thickly, unable to answer him. “You’re not going anywhere; you are not relaying anymore – _no.”_

“Do you really think you can stop me?”

“Yes.” Theseus straightened up, moving to approach me. But he caught himself, abandoning the motion in the next heartbeat. “Even if I have to stand in front of this door 24/7, I will.”

“Theseus,” I managed, my voice coming out as a whimper. My hands trembled so much I hid them behind my back. “You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“If I don’t go today, he’ll kill me – don’t you understand that?”

He reacted then, a flicker of a frown at the corner of his lips and when he spoke next, his voice was gentle but firm, “No one can kill you. Not when I’m still here.” 

* * *

From the moment he’d returned home, Theseus hadn’t set foot in our bedroom. The very first night, he gathered his clothes and shifted them into the guest bedroom and he no longer slept beside me, no longer wrapped me in his arms or even murmured that he loved me whilst he was on the verge of falling further asleep. But he had to return eventually, even if only to check on me.

It was the middle of the night, rapidly nearing 1 am when I’d begun to feel the first pains of labour. Theseus, such a light sleeper and still so entuned to my every emotion was awake and hurrying to see me within minutes. He still didn’t walk into the bedroom, just stood in the doorway and watched me as I sat on the edge of the mattress and did my best to keep my whimpers to myself. He processed the situation with all the levelheadedness of a man that was used to being in such high-stress situations and finally approached me.

Kneeling on the floor, he took my hands earnestly in his and swore in a tone of voice I’d missed, one that I’d heard in my every dream, that he’d returned as soon as he could, that he was getting the healer to tend to me. And he did. Leaving me alone, Theseus disappeared and returned with the Healer who helped me bring our son into the world. Through it all, Theseus sat at my side, holding my hand and letting me squeeze it in such a painful grip I was sure I’d severely hurt his hand. Once it had all passed, Theseus remained still, hovering around me.

Even as our son slept in my arms while I sat propped against our headboard, my eyes were lingering on my husband who stood in the open doorway. His eyes were on mine, holding them and seemingly unable to think of a thing to say. We’d spent hundreds of nights tucked in this bed together, wondering what it would be like to be in this very moment, to be cradling a life we’d brought into this world, to have begun our family together. I’d never once imagined that he would be standing so far away from me, or that the moments that followed would be filled with such an uncertain silence. This was the worst way possible –

Sniffing slightly, I held my tears at bay and instead peered down into the slumbering face of my son. I’d done it all for him, for the person I loved more than my own life, more than I’d ever thought it possible to love someone. I only looked up when the mattress dipped under the weight of a second body.

My eyes lifted then, seeking out Theseus who sat a short distance away from me, his adoring eyes focused on our minute’s old son. With careful hands and without a word, I held our son out for Theseus who accepted him with slightly shaking hands. I understood that I was on the verge of tears but Theseus himself seemed to be holding them back as well. For a long moment, I simply studied Theseus’s face up close, eyes lingering on the small scar _just_ next to his right eye that he got whilst supervising the training of the newly recruited Aurors. I hadn’t realised that you could miss a scar so much. The birth of my son was supposed to have been the best time of my life and yet, yet I had never felt so lonely.

“Acamas Charles,” he said abruptly, taking me by surprise. “Charles after your father and Acamas –”

“The son of Theseus in Greek mythology,” I finished softly, watching as Theseus lifted his head and met my eyes. For a moment, he offered me a flickering smile that dissolved into nothing.

“What do you think?” He waited for a response, holding our son out once more for me.

“It’s perfect,” I assured him, taking our son – Acamas and cradling him securely against my chest. Reclining back against my pillows, I gently patted his back and watched my husband for a moment longer.

Theseus’s eyes were waiting for my own. He held them for a long moment before outstretching a hand at a snail’s pace and brushing his fingertips over my cheek. My breath left me in a stuttered exhale, and I dared not get my hopes up. Even when he leaned in toward me, careful not to rest against Acamas and kissing me softly. I returned it instantly, regretting that he drew away so quickly.

“Thank you,” he said softly, the words seeming to echo around the quiet of our bedroom.

I couldn’t ask him what for. He didn’t let me. Before I could speak another word, he was on his feet and leaving our bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Clutching Acamas to me, I prayed he would become even half the man his father was. 

* * *

From the moment a vigil watch had been placed upon our home, I knew it. The extra eyes were like a physical weight that I kept track of from the upstairs window, knowing exactly _where_ the extra eyes were placed. I’d worked in the division for so long that I knew how it worked, I knew that they’d already scouted our home and had picked the best places to watch it from, and sure enough, they would be on a rotating schedule. We would be under 24-hour surveillance and I certainly didn’t doubt that Theseus has picked up on it as well. I could only assume that something would be happening soon. It was why I was already thinking three steps ahead and making the necessary preparations. Just in case.

It was for that very reason that Newt had visited us today to visit his nephew for the first time. He, of course, had no idea where my head was, or why I seemed to avoid any mention of his brother. Rather, he was hovering over Acamas’s crib with such a tender smile that I caught the resemblance he shared with his brother.

“It’s any wonder that anyone with Scamander blood can be born so small,” he murmured with a slight laugh that had me laughing all the same. I wondered if the sound was as hollow to his ears as it was to mine.

Gently easing Acamas out from his crib and holding him out towards Newt, I watched as he struggled with how to adjust his hands. Cradling Acamas with one hand and guiding Newt to the sofa, I helped him sit and instructed him on how to fix his posture before finally letting him hold his nephew. For a moment, Newt struggled as if my son weighed a ton, and he was worried to drop him. But slowly, Newt breathed out a deep breath and his posture relaxed. I smiled softly, catching Newt’s eyes when he peeked up at me from beneath his lashes.

“Is something wrong?” he asked eventually, catching my lingering gaze. I contemplated shaking my head but thought better of it.

Instead, I asked, “Promise me something?”

“You want me to make you a promise?” he repeated dubiously, cooing in the next breath at Acamas who shifted in his arms. “What is it?”

“If anything happens, do you promise to look after my son?” I asked as light-hearted as possible, but he caught me, nonetheless.

Newt’s eyes grew grave, watching me in a silence that made me feel like he was peering into my mind. But I held his eyes without a word. I knew the truth – the moment I stepped out of this house; I’d find myself facing the wands of the Auror department. The only reason they weren’t storming the house was out of respect for Theseus and for concern of his newly born son. Theseus knew that for now, his reputation was more than enough to keep a raid from being carried out in our home and it was why he was so insistent that I didn’t step out – not even for a second.

Shaking my head, I gave Newt a sad smile, asking, “Will you?”

“Of course, I will,” he said, voice thick. He cleared his throat, peering down at Acamas as he slept.

I had to act now if only to save Acamas before they gave up waiting and decided to storm our home. Helga, I refused to stand by and watch as my son came to harm. Reaching for my wand, I held it steadily in my hand and rose to my feet.

“I need to head out for a bit,” I managed to keep my voice light.

“Where are you going?” Newt was on his feet in an instant, blocking my path. I looked up at my brother-in-law, wondering just how much Theseus had shared with him. “Don’t – _please_ don’t do this.”

“Newt,” I managed and this time there was a tremble in my voice, “I’ll be back.”

He called my name, struggling to think of anything else to say. “Theseus will –”

“He’ll understand,” I insisted, ducking around Newt. For a long moment, I hovered by my front door, wondering just who would greet me on the other side; the Auror’s I’d betrayed? Or Grindelwald’s followers that I’d become a liability to? Pausing, I looked at Newt from over my shoulder and reminded him once more, “Look after Acamas for me.”

Drawing my wand in front of me, I stepped out and made sure to shut the door firmly behind me. I searched the street for a moment, lingering on the doorstep and making sure that too many people wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire. Because there _would_ be spells thrown from all around. I took another moment to calm my beating heart before stepping out into the street and within moments I was surrounded – on one side, were Grindelwald’s followers and on the other, were the Aurors with Theseus standing right by them. I stood in the middle; wand held in front of me as I waited for someone to throw the first spell.

The Aurors didn’t know who to go for first; me or the followers standing behind me. And Grindelwald’s followers didn’t know if they should go for me or cause some serious damage to the Auror department. I would be the first to make a move. I turned to face the Auror’s with the group of Dark Wizards standing behind me and slowly raised my wand. They reacted in a heartbeat; wands drawn defensively in anticipation. Good Merlin, I could not believe that my life had come to this.

“I have something to say,” I said into the still air but it was too late.

One of the Dark Wizards fired a curse that I ducked to miss. And suddenly the Auror’s were firing and back and I was standing alone in the middle of two warring sides. Only, I wasn’t alone. Not when Theseus had burst from the Auror’s ranks to join me as I ducked onto the ground. He caught my hand, holding it steady as I cast a quick shielding over the pair of us.

Crouching together, I searched my husband’s eyes as he asked, “What are we supposed to do now?”

“Capture the followers,” I insisted, “ _All_ of them.”

“Sweetheart –”

I shook my head abruptly. “ _All_ of them, Theseus.”

“And Acamas?”

“Newt has him,” I assured Theseus before breaking the shielding spell. I turned abruptly to face the Dark Wizards and launched a stunning spell straight at one of them who fell to the floor, caught off guard. With Theseus duelling by my side, it was almost like the old days. Almost.

* * *

In the end, the Aurors had managed to detain Grindelwald’s followers. Every single one of them.

Once the situation had been handled, the Aurors rounded us all up and took us to the Ministry. Upon reaching the Ministry, all followers of Grindelwald were separated from one another and taken for individual questioning. It was only through the respect the department still had for Theseus that they’d made no attempts to handcuff me, simply stating that they trusted me enough to let me walk alongside them, but at the first sight of trouble, they would use all the force they needed to. As I was complying, they hadn’t shoved me as harshly as the others had been and I was being questioned in a room far from where the others were being questioned. Not that I was giving any answers.

From the moment I’d entered the questioning room, I had taken a seat and resolutely crossed my arms over my shoulder, waiting for whoever had drawn the short straw to interview someone who used to be an Auror. Whoever it was would struggle to get anything out of me – whatever information I disclosed would only happen because I intended for them to know it and right now, I didn’t intend to let them know anything.

When my interviewer arrived, I half expected it to be Theseus – it certainly would fit in with what I knew of the department. It made sense for them to use my connection with Theseus, and my love for him to try and see if it would get me to spill anything. Only, it would also make sense for them to keep me away from Theseus because he knew about me and hadn’t told the department anything – perhaps he was in a disciplinary hearing at that very moment. The Auror they sent to interview me was familiar all the same; after all, she had been one of the mentors assigned to me during my own training period. It seemed that they were still hoping that having a deep shared connection with my interviewer would give them an advantage.

“How long has it been since we last spoke?” my once mentor asked as she entered the room, greeting me with a smile as if this was a normal situation. I continued to watch her in silence, eyes trailing after her as she joined me at the interrogation table. Sitting, she held my eyes for a long moment, waiting for me to return the greeting but of course, I didn’t.

I didn’t answer her then and I certainly didn’t give her any answers for the next twenty minutes. At my continued resistance, her patience was beginning to wane. Her lack of patience was so unusual that I wondered whether she was on a time limit, had the heads of the department decided that she could only spend half an hour with me before they moved on? I certainly wouldn’t be surprised. Maintaining my silence still, I watched as she sighed deeply, and clearly contemplated whether to switch tact, having realised that playing up our supposed friendship wasn’t doing her any favours? I just had to hold out a little longer.

“Auror Scamander was talking very proudly about your son,” she started slowly, trailing off when my eyes hardened, pinning her to her seat with a stare.

“I always thought to Ministry was above threatening a child,” I started slowly. Uncrossing my arms, I leaned forward, “If you lay a single finger on my son, then I’ll kill you.”

“I – I wasn’t. We would never,” she assured, stuttering slightly in the face of my aggression after having held a one-sided conversation for so long. Sighing once more, she dropped her head with a sigh. “You need to talk to us.”

“I don’t need to do anything.”

My answer prompted another aggrieved sigh and I realised then, that I was right. Aurors made for the worst traitors and the worst people to interview. Of course, that depended on which side of the debate you were sitting on. But I’d broken my silence now, having unwillingly shown my weak side and no doubt proved that I was willing to speak if only they said the right things. I might as well have started from 0.

Before the interview could progress any further, the door to the interview suite was thrown open. The trainee Auror standing in the doorway prepared himself for the hurling of abuse that was surely going to come his way.

Only, before my former mentor could say anything, the trainee spoke abruptly, “Grindelwald has been killed.”

Eyes widening, I looked between both Aurors as my interviewer demanded, “What are you talking about?”

“Professor – Professor Dumbledore killed him in a duel.” Swallowing thickly, the trainee motioned for her to leave, “The department is having a meeting – trying to decide if we should arrest Dumbledore for murder. You have to come quick.”

With a sigh, my interviewer hurried out of the room, but not before she threw me a warning glance, daring me to try and escape. On her way out, she made arrangements to detain me for longer and shut the door behind her. Finally left alone once more, I dropped my head into my hands and murmured a quiet, “Thank Merlin” as years’ worth of relief finally filtered through me. 

* * *

Eventually, after the department had come to some decision, I was released from the interview room. Not that they allowed me to go home. Rather, I was escorted out of the interview room and into an office that I recognised as Theseus’s. It was empty when I entered the room, with no lights on but I entered anyway. Behind me stood the Aurors that were assigned to guard the door, to make sure I didn’t make a run for it. Shutting the door behind me, they took their position and I turned the lights on, taking a good look around the office.

This room had seen so much – it was where our courtship had begun, where we had shared our first kiss and even where I’d accepted his proposal. It was steeped with our memories and I allowed them to wash over me as I approached his desk. Brushing my fingers over the edge of the desk, I reached out a hand for the picture frame, smiling a little sadly at the happy faces reflecting back at me. Replacing the frame, I turned to glance out of the window into the darkened night sky; how much longer would they keep me? Would Newt be able to look after Acamas for so long without having our help?

The door to the office opened and I turned then, unsurprised to find Theseus there. Closing the door behind him, he still didn’t approach me but kept careful watch.

“I assume that I’m being kept in here because I’m still an Auror’s wife,” I spoke into the silence, knowing how unlikely he was to respond. “So just where is everyone else?”

“Your pretend friends?” he asked, taking me by surprise. My eyes flickered to his, wondering just how much he knew. “Couldn’t you have told me at least?”

“And what would you have done?” I shot back, “You would do the same as you previously did – keep it to yourself and make yourself an outcast to the department –”

“I told them.” Surprised but unwilling to show it, I continued to watch him; of course, he did. If he hadn’t then he wouldn’t deserve to be the pride of the department. I simply listened as he asked, “Did you not trust me enough?”

I chose not to answer him, instead allowing the silence to linger between us. Not that it did for long. The door opened onto Theseus who had to step out of the way as the heads of the department filed into the room. Silently, I clutched at Theseus’s chair, wondering just what judgement they had reached about Dumbledore – about me. Looking between the heads of the department, I waited to face the consequences, only for Professor Dumbledore to walk in as well. Unbidden, I breathed out a sharp exhale that had Theseus crossing the room to reach my side. Without a word, he reached out and took my hand. What would Acamas do without his mother? How would Theseus raise our son without his wife?

“There have been some interesting developments,” Head Auror Christensen started, sharing a look with the two other Head Aurors, each of them leading separate teams. “Professor Dumbledore has given us some words for thought.”

“Has he?” I echoed plainly, ignoring the way Theseus’s hand tightened on mine; he would rather I held my silence until we heard more.

“Of course, we must check everything,” Head Auror Rangel insisted, “and then we can see how to progress from now on.”

Hesitantly, my eyes flickered toward our still silent Professor who nodded, slight but permission, nonetheless. Although, it was difficult at first, to speak, to actually say allowed what I’d kept hidden for years now. Glancing back to the Head Aurors, I waited still.

“Go ahead.” Head Auror Reed gestured for me to speak with his hand. “For now, we need your version of the story – your silence will not be appreciated this time.”

“Where am I supposed to start?” I finally managed, “Professor Dumbledore approached me about becoming acquainted with Grindelwald; the wife of a revered war hero would be the perfect spy. Especially when she herself was an Auror.” Beside me, Theseus breathed out sharply, looking towards me but I didn’t look at him. “It was almost ridiculously easy to become one of Grindelwald’s trusted spies; I gave him useless information and in return, the information he gave me was fed straight to Professor Dumbledore who, in his weekly meetings with someone else in the department would relay that information as well.”

“A spy for the department on the inside,” Head Auror Rangel said in wonder. “I would’ve never imagined –”

“I’m sure you can understand that we will need to verify this all through veritaserum,” Head Auror Reed insisted, continuing to watch me with suspicion. “And we will see if a trial still needs to be held. If you were working for us, why did you not approach the department?”

“It would never have been allowed because I retired and especially because I fell pregnant.” When the four older men shared a look, I finally asked, “May I return home now? I need to see my son.”

They discussed the matter for another few minutes and it was a discussion that I couldn’t be a part of, even if they included Theseus in their conversation. Finally, when it was decided that they would hold a private trial to determine my fate – purely as a formality, I was assured – and I could return to my normal life. There was a vague comment about thanking me for risking my life and the life of my unborn child before they assured Theseus that he could take me home.

Finally left alone with Theseus, I turned to face my husband who looked as though in our short meeting, he’d lived an age. He held my eyes, asking me hundreds of silent questions that I owed him answers to. And I would give them to him eventually, but at that moment, I was simply too tired. I missed our son too much.

“Can we go home now?” I finally asked, realising then that he was still holding my hand.

“Of course.” He intertwined our fingers, drawing me into his side, “Let’s go home.” 

* * *

We returned to find Newt looking far more frazzled than I’d ever seen him. He opened the door to us, and upon seeing us standing on the doorstep, I watched as the relief physically spread through him. For a moment I thought he was going to lean into his brother’s arms, but he gathered himself in a heartbeat, stepping aside and letting us in.

“Thank you,” I said finally, walking into the front room and hearing the two brothers speak quietly to one another, “for looking after him.”

“It was my pleasure,” Newt assured me with a tired smile, glancing towards Theseus, “although, I would appreciate if you didn’t run off again.”

“Sorry about that,” it was all I could say, even if it was a major understatement.

Leaving the two brothers to talk, I walked into the front room and approached the bassinet in the corner. Standing over my peacefully slumbering son, I let out a deep sigh, finally feeling like I could breathe again. With gentle hands, I picked Acamas up, cradling him against me and rocking him back to sleep.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured against his temple, kissing him gently. “I’m so sorry, my love. I won’t leave again.”

Continuing to hold him close, I walked upstairs toward the nursery so I could put him to bed. After settling him in his crib, I dimmed the lights and spent a good while just staring down at him as he slept. It had all been for him. Eventually, I looked away, hearing Theseus clear his throat. He stood in the doorway, seeming uncertain on how to progress.

“I offered the guest room to Newt,” he said slowly. The guest room – Theseus would be returning to our room? “It’s too late for him to head home.”

“He looked after Acamas all day,” I said quietly, looking down at our son again, “it’s the least we can do for him.”

I kept my eyes on our son, even as I heard Theseus walk closer to me. Where did we go from here? He now knew the truth, he knew the truth and yet, in the end, I’d still broken his trust. I’d spent years hiding such a big thing from him, he had no idea that whilst he was painting dreams of a happy future together that I was risking that future every single day.

Finally, growing sick of the silence, he asked, “How long were you working for Dumbledore? From the very beginning of our marriage? Is that – is that why you married me?”

“Of course not,” I insisted fervently, needing him to believe me. “I married you because I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Professor Dumbledore approached me almost two years ago now.”

“So, I had the real you for two years?” he asked, showing me a brief glimpse of his temper. But he shook his head, blowing out a deep sigh before asking, “Will you tell me the truth now? Now that you can?”

And I did. Lifting my eyes to his, I told his everything. How I’d spent each moment worried that he would find out and would hate me for it, that he wouldn’t love me anymore. I spoke hurriedly about how terrified I’d been to find out that I was pregnant, that I was risking yet another life alongside my own and how I spent every breath praying that I wouldn’t be ripped away from him – from them. Before I knew it, I was sobbing with each breath, having kept everything in for so long. For years now – Helga, it had been _years_ – I’d wanted to confess everything to him, to share my sorrows with the one man I knew would understand me. My husband who loved me so much as if heaven bloomed at my feet, with broad shoulders that he always leant to me, was someone I wanted to confide everything to. But I couldn’t. I spent my nights biting back my tears and now that I _could_ cry, they were all coming out at once.

He was there in a heartbeat, coming around the other side of Acamas’s crib to hold me. I covered my mouth with my hands, trying to stifle my sobs so I didn’t wake my son, even as I turned into Theseus’s chest. Holding me steady, Theseus shushed me as if I was Acamas and patted my back softly.

“If you knew it was so dangerous,” he started, voice thick, “then why did you agree to do it?”

“Because I had to.” Sniffling slightly, I continued, “Even if I couldn’t be an Auror anymore, I wanted to do some good and this was something that only I could do. Merlin, it would’ve been so much easier if I could’ve told you.”

“Don’t.” He sighed, resting his chin on top of my head, “It’s all over now. Once the farce of a trial is over with, we can get back to our normal lives and focus on our son. The way we should.”

“The way we should,” I echoed in agreement, continuing to burrow my face against his shirt and letting myself finally take shelter in his arms. “Finally.”


	2. Epilogue: 10 Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days, the fact that I had this life, that it was mine and no one else's was hard to believe.

_10 YEARS LATER_

Some days, the fact that I had this life, that it was mine and no one else's was hard to believe. It was so long ago now, that the possibility of living like this – happily and _alive_ – seemed like a distant dream, able to slip through my fingers at any given moment. It has been a faint hope and now, now that I could live it, it was something more than a miracle. A faraway call of my name brought me from my thoughts.

Looking up from the book I was supposed to be reading in the garden, I watched as Theseus played with our children – 3, who were capable of more mischief than I’d ever imagined – and alternated between throwing them in the air and catching them. Of course, Acamas lingered in the back, insisting he was more than old enough to be no longer treated as a child. Good Helga, he was taking after his father a bit too much; ageing too quickly under responsibilities he gave himself. Theseus looked away from our youngest then, our only daughter, and called me over again but I shook my head. Just as he made to approach me, the doorbell rang and I assured him that I would get it.

Closing my book, I headed inside and to the front door, preparing to greet the person on the other side. Opening the door, my greeting died on my tongue, finding the head of department – Christensen – standing on our doorstep. Within ten years’ time, he had been promoted to the head of the department, the only man in the entire Auror division that had seniority to Theseus and if he was here … I dreaded to think of what he wanted.

“May I come in?” he finally asked at my continued silence.

“Sorry, of course, of course.” Stepping aside, I gestured Christensen in. The older man entered, studying our home as I led him toward the front room and motioned for him to take a seat. He did so slowly, settling onto the sofa and listening as I murmured something about fetching Theseus.

Leaving the room, I retreated once more to the garden. Calling out for Theseus, I swallowed thickly when our children also turned to look at me. Forcing myself to keep the worry from my voice, I called for him to come inside, that we had a guest he needed to speak to. I wanted to tell Theseus to leave the children to play in the garden but they trailed after their father, as they always did. Reaching the threshold, Theseus ushered the children ahead of him and reached for my hand, the other holding our daughter steadily on his hip.

“There’s something wrong,” he said instantly, searching my eyes. “You haven’t looked so worried since –”

_Since 10 years ago._

“Christensen,” I said slowly, distantly hearing the children clambering around our guest curiously. “He’s waiting in the front room. I think he’s here to talk to you.”

Theseus sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he squeezed my shoulders reassuringly, “I’ll sort it out.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully, accepting our daughter and cradling her close as I watched Theseus walk past me to greet our guest.

I lingered a moment longer, watching Theseus’s retreating back to take the time to steady myself; what would I do if Theseus was sent off on a mission? Because why else would Christensen have come all the way to our home? Especially when Theseus had taken time off to be with our family, to be by my side when I brought our fourth – and Merlin, I hoped our last – child into the world. My daughter’s hand, soft and clammy from playing in the sun for so long, gently cradled my cheek as if to check that I was alright.

“It’s ok,” I assured her softly, rocking her slightly as I walked into the front room, preparing to find out the truth.

Only, both men weren’t talking. Rather, they were regarding one another with a cool silence that took me by surprise. The tension in the room was so thick that it had managed to render our sons docile and silent as they stood beside their father. When I entered the room, all heads turned to me.

“I believe there’s been a misunderstanding,” Christensen said finally, addressing me, “I’m here to speak with you.”

“With me?” I echoed faintly, looking at Theseus who gave me a grim nod.

“Acamas,” I called out softly, still not looking from my husband, “take your brother and sister out into the garden.”

Acamas, an old spirit trapped in the body of a 10-year-old, looked between me and his father, “Mother –”

“You don’t have to worry,” his father assured him at last, “just do as your mother says.”

Relenting, Acamas took his 7-year-old brother by the hand and prepared to lead him out of the room. But he stopped for a moment, accepting his sister who clung to him with all the strength her 2-year-old body possessed. When my children were safely out of earshot, I shut the door behind me and joined my husband on the sofa.

“What is this all about?” I asked Christensen when Theseus took my hand steadily in his own. There was a silence and I glanced curiously towards my husband. “Thee?”

“The Ministry requires your particular skill set, Mrs Scamander,” Christen started slowly.

“My skill set?”

“We require you to go undercover once more –”

“No,” I said simply, feeling the way Theseus’s hand relaxed on mine. “I no longer work for the Ministry. Surely you understand that I see the truth of it all. That I’ve lived it before? If anything goes wrong – the Ministry won’t protect me in any way.”

“Mrs Scamander, please –”

“She already gave you an answer,” Theseus said firmly.

“It was too stressful the first time around,” I said softly, remembering far too many visits to the healer where the stress almost made me lose Acamas. Even then, even as we huddled in the hospital, I couldn’t tell Theseus what was causing my stress. I curled an arm protectively over my stomach, unwilling to risk it once more. “There are other Aurors trained to undertaken hidden operations and I refuse to act as a scapegoat for the Ministry – simply because you’re unwilling to send Aurors to do their job because it would make politics difficult, I refuse.”

After a long while of failing to convince me, Christensen eventually left our home and I tried my best to forget about it. But still, it remained in my thoughts. Even as I settled into bed for the night.

“Do you think I did the right thing?” I asked hesitantly, “Isn’t it my duty to help my country?”

“With the new minister in charge, the department is being run differently,” Theseus confessed with a sigh. He grabbed my hand, holding it gently, “They wanted to use you so they could throw you away if anything went wrong, they could claim you were working alone without anyone in the Ministry knowing.”

“Still –”

“You did the right thing,” he assured me again, kissing my hand softly. Even if he was wrong, it was a risk I was no longer willing to take. 


End file.
